Within the list among my focus crusade is try and find my way again at work. I got saddled with a dead end project that I languished in for a long time. I wasn't happy doing it but I had it pretty easy so I leaned back and coasted. Not only did I end up going no where, I got pretty miserable doing it. It's largely my own fault but it really made getting up in the morning and going to work difficult. I was miserable and functionally existed. I did what I needed to get through the day and came home when it was done.

It's not that I hated what I was doing. Much worse. Instead I was completely apathetic toward the entire situation. It's fine for me to hate something. At least I have strong feelings toward it even if they are negative. To not care one way or another? That's when things are very bad. Being apathetic about work is neither who I am nor who I want to be.

I've had some movement within my team, I'm with a different supervisor, and there are a bunch of opportunities around me to explore if I'm willing to pull up my socks. Apathy is a hard thing to shake but I'm coming out of it. I'm not sure where it's going to head but I'm looking at work related education and internal courses being offered by the company. I'm looking at professional conferences. I'm just looking and reading and learning. That's something I haven't done in this job for long enough to be discouraging.

david shute - Jan 20, 2010 at 12:02 PM